The Power of Respect: Money and Children

By Karen Ryce

Q:  “I want my son to have money. What do you think is a good way to go about this?”

D.M., Briceland, CA

A:  There are many good workable possibilities. As an example of options, the late, great family therapist, Virginia Satir, once figured out more than 250 ways to wash dishes varying who was involved and how they did it. The important thing is to find which way or ways work for you and your son.


  • You give him a fixed amount every month, or week, or day.
  • He earns any money that he gets.
  • You put any money that is available to him in a drawer and he is free to take it as he needs it.
  • You put money into the bank for him to use later, for some large expense like buying a car, going to college, or traveling around the world.
  • You might discuss the family expenses with him and decide together how much of the family money is for his personal expenses.
  • He might decide that he just wants you to decide all this and just give him what you want, when you want, and how you want.

Remember to make sure that he understands what your needs are and that you truly understand what his needs are. Be determined to work this out so you both feel good with the outcome. Plan to re-evaluate later, maybe after a week or so, to be sure this agreement really works for you both.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Karen Ryce, the Miracle Worker of Education and Parenting, has used the Power of Respect for more than 35 years. She started a Montessori school in 1973, gives talks and workshops to parents and teachers.

Phone:   702-363-5564